The Strangest Adventures-80 Page Giant!

At the recent 2013 CPAC, a casually attired Sarah Palin gave a speech that was as much or more Redneck Comedy Tour than political speech. Of course, in my opinion Sarah Palin will never run for office again, (too much work and she’s much too thin skinned) so perhaps this new stand up routine is a good new direction for her. At one point she drank a Big Gulp, made a joke about NYC Michael Bloomberg and his attempted large soda ban, holding her hefty beverage aloft, like the torch of Lady Liberty. Hey, sure, why not, Sarah. 

I don’t have much to say about Canadian born Latino from Texas Ted Cruz yet; he seems a bit delusional and, ahem, unpolished. Ted Cruz is  under 50 and is being proclaimed by some pundits as the future of the Republican Party. Sarah Palin claims he won entirely because of her support. Not sure if that’s good or bad, bad I suspect. Of course, it’s even more likely that his connections with several tea parties and Freedom Works and the out of state money they brought to his campaign were greater factors in his win for office in 2012.

Rand Paul is the son of Ron Paul, a favorite candidate for many that have read this blog. Rand is another devotee of Ayn Rand, but he seems less affable and not as wise as his father, however all indications are he will be running for president in 2016. He won the straw poll at the recent 2013 CPAC, but the winner of that poll has only won as president twice since the 1980’s. Ooops.

The fourth story illustrates a longstanding belief of the Republican Party that higher taxes destroy the economy and only low taxes build the economy. Only in reality, there’s not so much confirming data there. Sometimes the economy does well during a time of high taxes and sometimes doesn’t, the same for times of low taxes. The economy, it seems, it a lot more complex than a few black and white answers.

I always loved the old DC Comics 80 Page Giants of my childhood because the 80 Page Giant had more content per issue; They were released annually, this is my attempt to create one on my own. 

Donald Trump!

Normally I make a number of observations about the subject at hand, 2013 CPAC speaker Donald Trump, but in this case I'd rather present his words, as he said them, and let other people describe Donald Trump. 

"The point is that you can't be too greedy."

“The beauty of me is that I'm very rich”

"I have a great relationship with the blacks."

"I don't like the crying." – on House Speaker John Boehner

“This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!” – On President Obama’s reelection

"I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation."

"Let me tell you, I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country. The reason I have a little doubt, just a little, is because he grew up and nobody knew him." – On why he thought Obama wasn't born in the United States

“Donald, you’re making a fool of yourself”- Barbara Walters

"Donald Trump said that he was running for president as a Republican. That's funny, because I thought he was running as a joke"- Seth Meyers

"Donald Trump has driven well past the last exit to relevance and veered into something closer to irresponsible"- Brian Williams, NBC News

“I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but nobody is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like: did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”- President Barack Obama 

Marco Rubio-Aguaman!

During his Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address, Senator Marco Rubio became thirsty but had placed his water bottle too low and too far away, and had to awkwardly reach for it to get a drink from it.  The media ignored the content of his speech because they were obsessing over the optics; I actually felt a little bad for Marco but hey, I think it’s funny, too.

Who is Marco Rubio though? Mr. Rubio is the son of Cuban immigrants; he used to tell people that his parents escaped the tyranny of Castro until it was revealed that his parents left Cuba in 1956, three years before Castro! D’oh!  From 2000 to 2008, Marco served in the State House of Representatives in Florida, a state known to be politically hilarious. In 2000 Floridians screwed up filling out ballots, so much to everyone’s embarrassment, they had to recount the votes. The whole affair ended up in the Supreme Court, where the election was decided in the favor of George W. Bush. Some people scream about corruption to this day because George’s brother Jeb was Governor at that time. In another more recent screw up, Florida’s Governor Rick Scott paid more money to drug test welfare recipients than he saved in not paying welfare to those that failed the drug test! How idiotic.  

Marco Rubio is a rising star in the Republican Party because he is well liked by the Tea Parties, despite no apparent ties to any Tea Party, and he’s young and Latino, two demographics the GOP is loosing with. He’ll be speaking at the 2013 CPAC, which will be held about a mile from me, across the Potomac at National Harbor. This is first in a series of 2013 CPAC speakers at The Strangest Adventures. He’s against raising taxes or cutting defense spending-yawn. He’s against Obamacare which he has vowed to defund, and contraception. What’s he’s for is a bit more interesting though.

In January 2013, Rubio proposed a providing a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants currently living in the United States. His proposal includes back taxes, background checks, fines, and a probationary period. This is possibly his defining moment in the eyes of the American people. His point of view is diametrically opposed to the Republican Party’s traditional view that offering citizenship to undocumented immigrants is the same as amnesty.

While many of his views are too conservative for many, certainly, voters are known to like politicians that buck the orthodoxy. Most people feel that Marco Rubio will run for President in 2016; he was constantly mentioned as a potential Vice President in 2012. I feel certain that he’s a better choice than most of the Republicans in the 2012 primaries. With no apparent heir to the White House, 2016 could get very interesting. 

Buena suerte Marco Rubio!