OK, here’s where the Presidential Campaign of 2012 stands now. First off, last month, unelectable Pizza Magnate Herman Cain “suspended” his campaign, in a fog of sexual misconduct allegations. The final straw was when Ginger White accused him of having a 13-year affair. So ends that sideshow. Newt Gingrich jumped into Cain’s spot as flavor of the month, but he quickly became distasteful to voters.
By the time of the Iowa Caucus on January 3rd, 2012 Newt had lost his luster, coming in fourth. Unsurprisingly, Mitt Romney won with 30,015 votes, however the big surprise of the day was Rick Santorum with 30,007 votes, only 8 less than Romney! It turns out Rick, who had only a small amount of money compared to the other candidates, had replaced money with hard work. He visited all 99 counties in Iowa, speaking to potential voters and it paid off. It's impressive enough that I almost regret how I have depicted him on this blog. Almost. Of course, he can’t use that approach in every state; there just isn’t enough time for that.
In third place, Ron Paul with 26,219 votes, more than double what he got here in 2008. This was as good as a victory to his cultish fans and much better than anyone expected. Between the three of them, this equals 70 percent (if you could combine them into one Super-Candidate it could in theory beat Obama) but bear in mind that this is 70 percent of 5.4% of the total voters in Iowa. Yes, this was a “record turnout” and it only drew that small a percentage of the registered voters!
Michele Bachmann also set a record; she had the largest drop in popularity in Iowa history from winning the straw poll to losing the caucuses. She won the straw poll in August with 28.6 percent of the vote but on January 3rd, she only received 5 percent of the votes, which put her in 6th place! She has quit her campaign; here at The Strangest Adventures, we’ll miss her. Meanwhile 4th place Newt Gingrich, 5th place Rick Perry, and 6th place Jon Huntsman continue on. Next stop, New Hampshire!
I’ve been struggling with creating a valid/an interesting image of Former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain for months now-who really wants to see him try serving his stale $9.99 pizzas, um, tax ideas. What a darned shame that he’s not the CEO of Domino’s Pizza! “I am the Koch brothers’ brother from another mother … and proud of it!” he said onstage in November of this year. Not that he is a bad guy as such, but I’m for the idea that President of the United States should not be the first office you get elected to. But then, with the recent attention Mr. Cain has received about events from a bygone era I was taken with the notion of depicting Herman Cain as a faded relic of the 1990s, M. C. Hammer!
M.C. Hammer was a pop star/early rapper that made his hits from using other people’s talent, such as music taken from a Rick James song. Herman Cain is building his 9-9-9 “flat tax” idea on the foundations set by failed presidential candidate Steve Forbes but in this case Forbes is flattered by the tribute. M.C. Hammer became popular very quickly and almost as quickly became less so. Cain seems to be following that pattern, at least with his recent meteoric rise in the polls, though it seems everyone in the race (except Santorum) has led in the polls by having the singular quality of not being Mitt Romney! Recently, Herman Cain’s campaign got very interesting; allegations of sexual harassment dating from the 1990s surfaced. While president of the National Restaurant Association, Mr. Cain was accused on several occasions of sexual harassment. The Association paid off several women for their silence. I hope these are groundless allegation but women were paid off, and a third party is willing to confirm harassment occurred so none of this looks good for Cain. Or does it? In the week or so since the “scandal” broke, Cain has received over a million dollars in campaign money. He still seems to test well with conservatives that believe the liberal media is persecuting Cain. In fact, if Romney gets the nomination I predict Herman Cain would be the most likely candidate for a third party run but since Herman has never been elected to any office I suggest that he concentrate on the world of music, where his sounds delight us instead of appall us.
If you are still reading at this point, perhaps you enjoy this type of humor enough to want a The Strangest Adventures T-Shirt. I’ve tried to include the main candidates in the 2012 Presidential election in this homage to the Justice League/Justice Society/All-Star Squadron team-up of the 1980’s, Crisis on Earth Prime. This is my first “official” foray into T-Shirt design, aside from home printed and applied iron-ons for myself and others, an early noble design experiment. I would appreciate any feedback, positive or negative, that anyone could provide. And note, I have provided inexpensively priced shirts for the tight of budget as well as premium style shirts. Wear this shirt to tell others you think the candidates are as much of a freak show as I see them to be, well at least in my fevered imagination! Your support would be appreciated; this would supplement my meager earnings from freelance work.
